So, according to one, Coalition MPs are happy because of the polls....and according to the other, they're confident despite the polls. Clearly our national media has decided to switch the traditional 'Take poll --> reach conclusion' structure.
Meanwhile, The Australian, fresh from using its editorial pages to write blog entries, has decided to cut out the middleman and just reprint Government press releases, this one about the shaping battle over broadband.
This particular issue has jumped out of the woodwork to an extent, when last March Kevin Rudd put it on the table to demonstrate Labor's long-term economic credentials. Aided by the fact that John Howard is unlikely to have operated a computer in his lifetime, it appears to be a winner for Rudd, which will make it all the more tragic when Labor inevitably f*ck it up (maybe by having Dean Mighell use it to extract wage rises).
The Liberals' have responded to Labor's plan, cementing the slight but noticeable ideological divide between the two parties: Rudd using a mix of the Government's bursting coffers and the private sector to build massive fibre-optic networks across the country, and Howard using a mix of the Government's bursting coffers and the private sector to build massive fibre-optic networks across the country.
The Liberals' plan, quite ingenious in playing on the public's love of comparing two numbers and assessing which is higher and lower, will deliver broadband to 99% of the country, compared to Labor's version which tallies 98% - and interesting figure considering the policy substantively exists as little more than a general statement of intention. The other key difference is that the Liberal plan utilises wireless broadband (which, unfortunately, everybody hates). The only thing everyone can agree on is that neither plan will work - welcome to your high-speed future Australia.
The other issue, more exciting than an hour of ABC Newsradio, is that of IR Productivity - literally, both parties claiming the other is at fault for your lazy arse slacking off on the job (ain't election years grand?).
Leaked documents (presumably sourced from one of Therese Rein's countless victims) have advised Kevin Rudd to ignore the slight recent bump in productivity and forecast of rising levels of you gettin' shit done in the near future. John Howard, utterly outraged that the opposition has chosen to ignore good news and *gasp* spin politically inconvienient statistics, let loose accusing Rudd of "deceiving" the Australian public. A bunch of kids floating recently thrown overboard let out a collective: wtf bro? Meanwhile, Kevin from Queensland (and here to help) has reverted to the age-old "it's a lie, but hear me out", demanding John Howard debate him on productivity numbers. Networks have already begun bidding to televise that spectacular - current highest bidder is JimK1991's YouTube account.
And so there you have it - final week of this session, election fever raging in Australia's capital - and the super-exciting issues are broadband and productivity. Will John Howard continue to celebrate poll numbers predicting a massive Labor victory ("Great! We're only 40 seats behind on this one!")? Will Australians finally start caring who Brian Burke is and who he meets? How many more members of Kevin Rudd's family will f*ck everything up for him?
Until next time, may your own personal polling deliver good news.
